Time now for another breathless installment of Johnny B's Fearless NFL Pigskin Prognostications. As always, for entertainment purposes only- bet at your own risk.
Last week: 9-5. Year to date: 58-29, a .667 winning percentage.
New Orleans over Atlanta- a battle of terrible defenses and one terrible offense. Guess which one. Dan Reeves thinks green Kurt Kittner will give my guys a "spark". Dan, better double up on your Zocor.
Philadelphia over the New York Giants- the Giants have a lot of weapons, but can't figure out a way to use them, plus they're not stopping anyone defensively either. I think this will be close, because Philly has problems of their own, but I like the Eagles if they rush the ball effectively.
Minnesota over Denver- a battle of rusty quarterbacks, with Steve Beuerlein filling in again for Jake Plummer and Dante Culpepper coming back from injury for the Vikes. These are two pretty darn good teams, but the Vikings are playing unbelieveably well plus they're at home, so I see a close defeat for the Habitual Liars.
Cleveland over San Diego- I'm a bit surprised the Chargers have been so bad so far this year. Cleveland has been up-and-down as well, but I think Tim Couch is playing like he wants to keep his job and the Chargers' defense isn't too great, so I go with Cleveland at home.
Baltimore over Cincinnati- the Ravens have been winning with defense and the ground game, two areas which traditionally give the Bengals problems. I'm kinda feeling an upset here, but not strongly enough to actually take Cincinnati. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if this is close and the Bengals begin to heat up as the season goes on. Take the Bengals and the points, if you're betting.
Dallas over Detroit- the Lions tend to play the Cowboys tough at home, but with Joey Harrington's shaky confidence being battered by losing his best receiver, and a non-existent ground game, I just can't see Detroit pulling off an upset. Take the points here, too.
St. Louis over Green Bay- it seems as if strutting martinet coach Mike Martz has finally got his Rams clicking on all cylinders again, but usually a game against my beloved Falcons will do that for you. They'll get a sterner test against the Pack, and I see a shootout brewing.
Carolina over Tennessee- McNair will get his, but I seriously doubt he'll get in the end zone as much as he did last week which makes the Panthers and their solid D and good-enough O winners at home, as I see it. Panthers by a field goal or less. The Panthers 6-0. My God.
Miami over New England- New England's been playing good football lately, but Miami always gives them fits at Pro Player.
New York Jets over Houston- I would have thought that they would have had some momentum after the exciting win over Jacksonville, but the Texans looked flat against Tennessee. I don't think the Jets are as bad as they've shown, either, so I take Jersey/B in a another game with shootout potential. You might want to take the Texans and the points.
Seattle over Chicago- the Bears surprised OAkland a couple of weeks ago, but Seattle is a hell of a lot better than the toothless Bears, who actually think Chris Chandler will provide a spark. I'd rather have Kurt Kittner at this stage of the game.
Washington over Buffalo- the Bills' woes will continue, until they get better play-calling from their offensive coaching staff. This will be close, but I like the Skinnies.
Tampa Bay over San Fransisco- if I didn't despise the Niners so much, I'd almost feel sorry for them. Terrell Owens looked (and played) like he was on heroin last Sunday night, sitting staring into space with his mouth open. I hope John Lynch lays him out.
Kansas City over Oakland- the Raiders will be up for this game against the hated Chiefs, but I think KC can take whatever they want to dish out.
That's it- remember, these predictions are for entertainment purposes only. If you bet based on my predictions, then you're stupider than I gave you credit for and you deserve to lose. In other words, I warned ya- so don't come crying to me!