The Johnny Bacardi Show

Always got time for This-or-That Tuesday!

Who is:

1. Sexier (female)...Pamela Anderson or Jennifer Garner?

No doubt, Jennifer Garner. Pamela's just too blowsy and plastic.

2. Sexier (male)...Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?

Uh...I suppose Affleck is the most traditionally "handsome". That's the best I can do, I'm afraid.

3. The better piano player...Billy Joel or Elton John?

They're both better than you'd think, but I go with Elton since he's played more diverse types of music.

4. Funnier...David Letterman or Craig Kilborn?

No contest-Dave. Kilborn should never have left ESPN. He's just annoying.

5. The dumber cartoon cat...Stimpy (of *Ren & Stimpy*) or Tom (of *Tom & Jerry*)?

Stimpy takes "dumb" to a level Tom couldn't imagine. Tom's not all that dumb.

6. A better news anchor...Tom Brokaw or Dan Rather?

Can't say...one taking head's about the same as another on Planet Dave.

7. A better TV chef...Emeril Lagasse or Jacques Pepin?

Wow...I was just watching the hyper Emeril last night with Mrs. Bacardi! I've never heard of Pepin, so BAM! I'll go with Lagasse.

8. The trashier talk show host...Maury Povich or Jerry Springer?

Well, I don't know how trashy these men are in their personal life...all I can judge them by is their shows and Springer's show has always maintained a high level of sleaze and knuckleheaded white trash antics that Povich can't even begin to approach.

9. The worse fast food burger joint...McDonald's or Burger King?

Judged strictly by food, I'll say Burger King. Never liked their stuff.

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: Only a handful of U.S. Presidents have been considered to be *great* Of the following two, which one do you consider to be greater...Franklin D. Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln? Why?

Both seemed to be great men, but freeing the slaves and navigating the worst internal conflict in the country's history was a hell of a thing, so I say Honest Abe. He's a Kentucky boy, y'know!